NursingLink

Add NurseReece as a friend to write on their Comment Wall.

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  NurseReece

  4 days ago

  64 comments

  For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

  Men are like....

  1. Men are like Laxatives

  They irritate the crap out of you.

  2 Men are like. Bananas .. The older they get, the less firm they are.

  3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

  4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

  5. Men are like Chocolate Bars .. Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

  6. Men are like Commercials .. You can't believe a word they say.

  7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

  8. Men are like . Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.

  9. Men are like .Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

  10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

  11. Men are like Snowstorms .. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

  12. Men are like Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

  13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

  Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!

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  NurseReece

  6 days ago

  64 comments

  God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired, "Where have you been?"

  God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds and said, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

  Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

  "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

  "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

  God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

  God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

  The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

  "That's Washington State , the most glorious place on earth.

  There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of software."

  Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

  God smiled, "There's another Washington . Wait till you see the idiots I put there!"

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  NurseReece

  6 days ago

  64 comments

  Three Things to Ponder:
  1. Cows
  2. The Constitution
  3 The Ten Commandments

  1) C O W S
  Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the
  mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in
  Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in
  the state of Washington ? And, they tracked her calves to their
  stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
  wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a
  cow.

  2) T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N
  They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don't
  we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys,
  it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

  3) T H E T E N C O M M A N D M E N T S
  The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a
  courthouse is this:
  You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit
  Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers,
  judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment.

• 

  abednigo2

  6 days ago

  76 comments

  Hey, Sorry you have to click on the individual teeth on the smile to navigate the site. Thanks for asking. Let me know what you think about the sites and if you're interested in any of our products.

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  NurseReece

  9 days ago

  64 comments

  hey I got 2 stars!!!

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  Nursen05

  12 days ago

  2750 comments

  Hi..you have some cute picts...I have a drawing of what my tatt looks like in my picts...and then there is one you can kind of see while I am holding my niece in my picts...Have a great weekend!!

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  Nursen05

  12 days ago

  2750 comments

  Thanks for accepting my invite, hope your week is going well.

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  chq

  20 days ago

  796 comments

  hi there! hehe,, how are you? thanks for the approval of my request.. (^^,) glad to have a new friend,, take care.. godbless.. (^^,)

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  NurseReece

  29 days ago

  64 comments

  If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
  (Hardly seems worth it.)
  
  If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
  (Now that's more like it!)

  The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
  (O.M.G.!)
  
  A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
  (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

  A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
  (I'm still not over the pig.)
  
  Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
  (Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
  
  The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
  (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

  The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

  (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

  The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
  (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

  
  Some lions mate over 50 time s a day.
  (I still want to be a pig in my next life..quality over quantity)

  Butterflies taste with their feet.
  (Something I always wanted to know.)

  The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.....)

  
  
  Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
  (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
  
  Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
  (Okay, so that would be a good thing)

  A cat's urine glows under a black light.
  (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

  An ostrich's eye is bigg er than its brain.
  ( I know some people like that.)
  
  
  Starfish have no brains
  (I know some people like that too.)

  Polar bears are left-handed.
  (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer) ;
  
  Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
  (What about that pig??)

  Cheers!
  (and God love that pig!)

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  NurseReece

  about 1 month ago

  64 comments

  Two little kids are in a hospital,lying on stretchers next to each
  other outside the operating room---the first surgeries of the day.

  The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?'

  The second kid says,'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little
  nervous.'

  The first kid says,'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that
  done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up
  they give you lots of Jell-O and Ice Cream. It's a breeze.'

  The second kid then asks 'What are you here for?
  The first kid says, 'A circumcision'
  'Whoa!' the second kid replies'. Good luck buddy. I had that done when
  I was born. Couldn't walk for a year.'

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  HealthTech

  about 1 month ago

  4 comments

  LOL! Francais? Parlay vu? You kill me when you speak french Mon Cher! Xo!

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  NurseReece

  about 1 month ago

  64 comments

  Oh Touché !!

  ~excusé moi!
  oxoxo

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  HealthTech

  about 1 month ago

  4 comments

  Hmm.. that’s interesting... and women... In Scent of a Woman, the man said “I Take a man, take away responsibility and accountability and there you go!” Men have to be Chivalrous and nice 23 days a month and then wear body armor for the remaining 7 so we don’t get killed, women have all the excuses they need to have a man, carry that extra bag, and bring you chocolate, We only get the friends you approve whether we're invited or not, and have to beg for a guys night out.
  One mood is because anything else and we have to bring flowers to make up for it! Ever have a pair of tighty whities riding up NO FUN! We keep the look that works due to the fact that women spend hundreds "Sprucing the old tree" Hair color, Make up, Nails top and bottom! And a bikini wax (and for those unfortunates.. a facial wax, sorry ladies, some of you DO have them) every now and then! By the way. Most, of that money comes from us working 80+ hour weeks to pay for it! Toys, ohh you mean the car we keep up for our Women, tire changes oil changes, etc... Men do find a style and stick with it, but only because if we make changes, women ask, "is there something WRONG" a conversation we'd rather not have.

  Men do get depressed; we'd just rather avoid the conversations and get passed it, rather than make mountains out a molehills. Yes you probably do look fat in that, but we'll nave say, and yes those shoes don’t go with that dress... but you'll never know it by us.
  …Men do NOT read into every word that comes out of a woman’s mouth, which is why our most common defense is, "Did you say something?"
  Leave us to open doors and be auspiciously sexy, and occasionally troublesome, the world will be better and the weight will be light, and please consume your assumptions in laughter, and light hearted fun, with mayo and Cheese. HTMJ

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  NurseReece

  about 1 month ago

  64 comments

  WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
  Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $3,000. Tux rental $200. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
  Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

  Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. You never have strap problems in public. You can't see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

  You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

  You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.
  No wonder men are happier.

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  Bahadarali

  about 1 month ago

  84 comments

  Me to the right are Camals.